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| My JaJa during the negotiations |
Wedding introductions are basically the US equivalent of an
engagement party and are considered to be as important, if not more important
than the actual wedding itself. In the traditional Buganda culture, the wedding
introduction is the time when the bride and groom’s family discuss negotiations
for the marriage. The groom must pay the bride’s family a bridewealth in order
to marry her. The bridewealth is important to the Buganda culture because it
signifies the transferring of the bride to her husband’s clan (which follows
the husband’s lineage) and it pays respect to the family who raised and
invested so much into their daughter’s upbringing. The introduction I attended
was for my mother’s cousin and JaJa was the paternal aunt (who is the
representative for the bride in all the negotiations, and basically runs the
whole show). The feminist in me thought it was a little weird that the entire ceremony
was about the groom’s gifts to the bride’s family, yet the bride herself was
allowed to do very little. Until the negotiations are made, the bride must sit
on the floor to eat (traditionally men and elders are the only ones to sit at
the table) and cannot take part in any of the negotiations regarding her
future. After the negotiations are made, she is presented and can join the
ceremony with her fiancé. The women wear gomezis and the men wear canzos as
traditional dress.
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| The infamous cow |
During the ceremony which was about 5 hours long and in Luganda
(so I’m not exactly sure what happened), many generations and family members
danced and gave blessings to the groom’s family. About halfway through the
ceremony, a stray cow walked in the back and ran into a bunch of the parked
cars, setting off a bunch of car alarms. Apparently that’s normal, but my
aunties found it hilarious that Maddie (my school friend) and I were so amused.
Someone eventually got the cow and tied it down, so of course we did what any
normal American would do and took selfies with the cow in our traditional wear.
There was also a crowd of village children that came to watch the wedding, but
an even larger crowd showed up when they spotted the 2 muzungus wearing
traditional attire. There might have been 50 kids watching us take pictures
with a cow who crashed a wedding, which to them seemed absolutely ridiculous. The
actual bridewealth part of the ceremony was so elaborate, with almost an hour
of family members carrying baskets of gifts for the bride’s family. The gifts
ranged from cases of soda, to fruit, to suitcases, to a lifetime supply of
laundry detergent, some chickens, and even a cow. The gifts filled the entire
room, and just as you thought the gifts were finished, ten more would come out.
The ceremony was very different from anything I’ve ever seen in the US, but it
was amazing to me the tradition that is preserved within the introduction. One
of my aunties told me that after this ceremony, the marriage is considered
valid in the Buganda kingdom, and some don’t even have an official wedding with
a marriage certificate. Ugandans know how to throw a great ceremony!
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| Bringing the gifts for the bride's family |
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| Yep. That's a rooster (the guy is wearing a canzo) |
One of the other students on the program invited all of us
to his homestay brother’s 1st birthday party earlier this week. He
also invited me to bring my little sister Grace who was in the same class as
his other sibling Amos. After class, we went to the Primary school to pick up
Grace and Amos, who were so excited to see us. I have to say that we probably
gave them a really great popularity boost because all of the kids were stunned
to see their Muzungu siblings, however it kind of looked like we were
kidnapping them with the 5 of us walking around with 2 little children (we got
some confused looks on the street). The party itself was relatively small,
mostly just family and us, but we had a blast hanging out with all the kids and
just being together. Birthday parties here are kind of like at home: loud
music, dancing, so much food (although it’s Ugandan… I mean matoke food), cake
and overall just a time to have fun. The one thing that is very different here
is the way the kids are treated. The children are always served last. When it’s
time to cut the cake, the kids must walk around and serve cake to all the
adults before they are allowed to have any which was super strange to me,
especially at a little kid’s birthday party.
Overall it was so much fun and it was nice to have a
celebration amidst all the negative outlooks on development we have been
learning about in class. Because development is so complicated we are
constantly learning about the things that don’t work and the many issues Uganda
faces, which makes things very bleak and difficult to come to terms with
reality. However, the more time I spend with people here and the more I
experience the culture I realize the many things that are going well and right.
Despite the corruption of the government, conservative social atmosphere, and
poverty that affects so many, the people in Uganda are the opposite of
hopeless. They are hardworking, community oriented and overall joyful people.
My experience thus far has taught me the many challenges that are in front of
me and African development, but has also inspired me in so many ways through my
daily interactions.
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| Me and my homestay mom |
Also, I am leaving tomorrow for Rwanda and Western Uganda so
I won’t have internet for a week or two but there’s more to come!
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